Friends I found this article while reading the dailies this
morning and I want to share it with you, I found it so touching and a great lesion
for you my dear friends, you can also advice this man on what to do because he
has lost it and need your advice.
And also learn from his story..
God bless you as you read, learn from this article…
By YETUNDE AREBI
My first contact with this guy whom I will call worried guy
for the purpose of this article was through another e-mail address. He’d asked
if I could spare a few minutes to discuss a very personal issue with him on a
given phone number which I’d obliged.
We have been talking ever since and the thrust of our
discussion is what I have reproduced below as he has requested. Worried guy is
a 32 year old hard working and very focussed banker, while his wife whom he met
at the university works as a teacher in a private Secondary school.
They are both Christians and have been married for close to
three years, but he would rather not take his problems to the church for
personal reasons. He is counting on you and I to work things out. Please, let
do this together!
Dear Yetunde,
I have a very serious problem which has started affecting me
psychologically and even my performance at my job.
I have tried to work things out with my wife but it has not
yielded any positive result as I am not convinced about the situation. I feel
too ashamed to discuss the problem with my pastor and even worse with my mother
because I know that will only escalate things. Trust me, I know my mother and
mothers generally. As for my friends, I am afraid they might turn around to use
it against us and make me the butt of their jokes.
My problem started last December, over the festive period to
be precise. I caught my wife on our matrimonial bed having sex with a vibrator.
I almost collapsed because I was shocked beyond what words can describe. I
found myself shaking from head to toe, unable to even say anything. I felt so
disgusted and sick that I had to rush to the bathroom to splash water over my
face to avoid vomiting.
She must have been so engrossed in what she was doing that
she did not even know when I entered our apartment and walked into the room to
find her in that position. It was my movement that brought her back to reality.
What I found most disturbing at that moment was why she
could not wait for me if she was so in need of sex, since I’d called her
earlier on that I was on my way home. And though she got up immediately and
started pleading with me that it was the devil, I did not bring myself to talk
to her until very early in the morning of the next day.
She told me a friend in her office had given it to her to
try out and it was her first time of using it. And that she would have told me
about it but wanted to try it out first. She mentioned somebody’s name which
she said I have never met and pleaded that she would return it and never use it
again. She managed to convince me that it was an innocent one-off-thing which I
did not need to bother myself about and I accepted.
But it was difficult for me to forget as I kept seeing the
picture of her in that position in my head and wondering if it was right for a
married, Christian woman to be doing such a thing. To me, it is something made
by the Satan for his children.
Later that week, she told me she had returned it and things
went back to normal between us but I was surprised to find the instrument again
in her underwear drawer by accident. She was not at home, so I took it out and
laid it on her side of the bed. As soon as she saw it, she went on her knees
again and began to beg me.
She said she did not know how to return the thing since it
was a gift and would not want to upset her colleague at the office, nor
embarrass herself. She insisted she was not using it and was also scouting for
whom she too can give it to.
Since I did not catch her using it, I had no choice but to
let it go. However, I was not comfortable and began suspecting her. I later
hatched a plan to catch her and before long, it worked. What I saw that evening
was worse than the previous one and still haunts me till today.
I refused to talk to her and walked out of the apartment. I
just walked round and round the neighbourhood because I felt lost and didn’t
know where to go or who to talk to. I felt thoroughly betrayed. I had never
looked at another woman in my life, before and even after I met her. I’d never
looked at porn magazines or movie, not to talk of having a girlfriend, and
worse still, owning a sex toy.
She then told me that since the matter was no longer a
secret, it was better she confessed everything to me. She said the vibrator was
hers and she had been using it even before she became a born again Christian,
as she was introduced to it while in Secondary school. (A girls only school) I
don’t understand the logic, but she said it was a way to show that they did not
need male company? Were they Lesbians?
She insisted they were not. When she became “born again” in
the university, she stopped, she said. This was where we met and started first
as friends, then I got the message that she was my wife and we eventually got
married two years after our service year. She said she was forced to go and buy
another vibrator after a discussion with some ladies in her office about how
much they enjoyed their sex life and she missed the fun she used to have.
She
also told me that she does not get satisfaction from what we do together but
did not want to hurt my feelings by telling me and begged me to allow her to
continue using the thing and that it will not affect what we have together,
after all, I never would have guessed it, if I had not caught her using it.
My problem now is that, though I have not caught her again
in almost two months, I am still not happy because I know she is doing it and
its disgusting to me.
Though she says it will not affect us, it is already
affecting me because anytime I want to have sex with her, that picture comes to
my mind and spoils my mood. I will have to just force myself because I have
nowhere else to relieve myself.
My work schedule is very tight as I work in the bank and
have to leave home very early in the morning and most times, don’t return home
until around 10pm or even later.
I am also taking some professional courses,
so, that also takes away most of my weekends. But my wife is a teacher, so she
has more than enough time on her hands to do all she wants before I return.
Before you ask what I have done to make our love life
better, I have tried to do everything she tells me, and though she says she is
now enjoying it, I am not convinced. I do not see that look on her face. And it
is making me feel inadequate as a husband. We have been married for three years
and we are yet to conceive a child and I sometimes wonder if this is her
priority. I know what I am facing with my mother and family on that issue
alone, not to now add this one to it.
Have I not bitten more than I can chew with this girl? My
wife is unfaithful to me and I am powerless to do anything about it. Please
Aunty Yetunde, help me. I want Nigerians to advise me on what next to do. I
don’t want anyone to know my identity please.
Worried guy in Lagos.
Well my people, the ball is in your court. As is my style, I
never assume I have the best answers to all relationship problems and this guy
is sure not expecting me to provide him one.
He is asking for your opinion to enable him take his
decisions concerning his situation. So, what do you think is the way out for
this couple? Is worried guy just a sex novice or his wife is being too clever
by half? Is she really cheating on him with this toy or helping him?
There are
so many other issues I noticed in this guy’s story which I am hoping you will
spot out too. Please, let’s help to save this marriage. I am looking forward to
reading from you via e-mail address: yetty5050@yahoo.co.uk Do have a wonderful
weekend!
- See more
at: http://www.vanguardngr.com/2014/06/wife-cheating-vibrator/#sthash.2wiJRzEq.dpuf
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